


A World Only Ours

by Susanoosama01



Series: Midam Week 2020 [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: I am certainly going to write Luci and Abel's story separately, I have beautiful plans, M/M, because Michael is feeling conflicted, kind of a storm, lots of feels, molting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:35:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26549839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Susanoosama01/pseuds/Susanoosama01
Summary: Adam freaking loves those wings.
Relationships: Abel/Lucifer (Supernatural), Michael & Adam Milligan, Michael/Adam Milligan
Series: Midam Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1923550
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	A World Only Ours

Adam freaking  _ loves  _ those wings. 

He loves Michael’s everything. He loves the time they spend together, the smile his angel gives him when he does or says something nice, the adoring look he gets for the smallest of things, those eyes reflecting Michael’s love for him and everything else. He loves it all. But the wings… He can write poems for this majestic creature he has the honor of calling his. He can spend the rest of his life wrapped in white feathers on their bed. He can brush each feather with his own fingers and groom them all at once. He can- Hell he would cut off his own limbs to protect those beautiful wings. And that’s exactly why Michael is being unreasonable right now. 

“Michael, open the door. I just want to help. You know I love you, right?-” He knocks again and is met with silence again. He sighs. This is the second day Michael has been like this locking himself in the spare bedroom. Adam can feel his gloomy mood through their bond as mates. And he has been warned. Michael told him what would happen a week ago. Still, it doesn’t change the fact that Adam wants to be there with him. And he has been researching. He is sure he can help. Logically, Michael is older than Earth itself. He has been dealing with this on his own for an unimaginably long time. But he is in pain. Adam can tell. His angel is in pain and he doesn’t want Adam to see him like that. “-Michael for once, let me be the one to care for you. Please. I will be sadder this way. You said it lasts about a week. I can!t spend the next five days wondering about you. Let me help you.  _ I can help you. _ ” After five seconds or so, Adam drops his hand from the door getting ready to walk away. 

Something in his voice or his soul must have affected the archangel, he thinks. The small metal lock turns with a click. Adam opens the door so fast before Michael changes his mind that he almost breaks it. 

In the room, he sees Michael sitting on the floor with his wings stretched out. The archangel looks up at him with sad eyes then tilts his gaze down in a manner so unlike him that Adam almost doesn’t believe this is the same angel he knows. But then again, Michael said he would be moody and irritable during this time. He would act unexpectedly, he pointed out and apologized in advance. Adam brushed him off then. Now though-  _ Molting. _ He can’t imagine how hard it must be. He remembers that one parrot his roommate in college had. Even the small bird suffered for a long time when this happened to him. With the thought, Adam wants to embrace his angel but stops himself just at the last instant. He might hurt Michael’s wings.

* * *

When Michael sees the large spray bottle, he narrows his eyes and twitches his wings as if to flee or defend himself but both of them know that he can’t move too much when he is like this and he can never hit Adam, not even in this state when he isn’t feeling like himself. So Adam moves closer and gently sits himself down on their bed. He moved Michael here this morning when he was finally granted entrance. “Misting is supposed to help you feel better, Michael. It’s not anything bad. It’s not humiliating. I am really not treating you like a pet bird. You have wings that are hurting and I simply want to soothe you. This will humidify the room too and ease the itching. It will soften the sheath around the feathers so the old ones will come out easier. You don’t have to pull on them yourself and injure your wings like you described. We will just take care of your wings together and make this process as easy on you as possible. Will you let me?” He asks, gesturing to the bottle in his hand. Reluctantly, Michael shifts a wing closer to Adam’s lap and draws his knees to his chest to bury his face in his arms curled around them. 

Carefully, Adam starts spraying room temperature water on the white wing. He tries not to touch too much. He probably will have to help with the loose feathers in areas Michael can’t reach or when he is too tired. Right now though, it’s only the second day in and Adam doesn’t want to harm the new feathers growing in. All through the next hour, Michael stays silent and doesn’t lift his head once. Adam doesn’t really understand that behaviour. Does Michael want to be alone? When he is feeling pathetic like this? Is he ashamed? What could a being as fascinating as him have to be ashamed of? 

Adam sighs and leans down to press a soft kiss on the tip of the second wing he just finished tending to. Michael looks at him at that but immediately hides his face again. Maybe Adam should just let him rest. It must exhaust him to be itchy and aching all the time. 

* * *

The next days pass slowly. It’s the weekend and Adam skips his Friday classes so all his time is dedicated to his angel. Michael doesn’t say much and Adam actually sees him sleeping. It’s weird. This side of the oldest archangel is probably one no one else ever saw. That single fact makes Adam more and more enthusiastic to find a new way to help Michael. He mists Michael’s wings two or three times each day. He makes sure to get Michael comfortable helping him fold his wings when the archangel declares he needs to rest again. And on Sunday, old feathers actually start falling out. Adam is startled to see piles of white all over their floor and a few small feathers flying around with the slight breeze coming from the window when he creaks the door open to check on Michael. 

When Adam steps inside, Michael raises his head then immediately curls his wings in a strange way. “Please leave, Adam. I apologize for the mess. But I will clean up after finishing this part.” His voice is so low that if Adam didn’t know his mate, he would almost say Michael is  _ murmuring. _ As if Michael doesn’t want Adam there. As if he thinks Adam will be mad or unwilling to stay with him.  _ Does Michael really think that? _

Quietly, Adam gets a broom and bucket for the fallen feathers and starts working. Michael watches his every move out of the corner of his eyes as he visibly struggles to keep his wings in that twisted position. Even looking at him, Adam can feel his own bones hurting. And Adam tries not to look. Every time they make eye contact, Michael lowers his head. 

“What’s wrong, Michael? Will you tell me now? This isn’t you feeling grumpy because of molting. There’s something else. I didn’t want to push you but-  _ Why don’t you want me to be with you?- _ ” Adam asks once he gets rid of the feathers and returns to Michael with the spray bottle. At the question, Michael gasps audibly and Adam sees his wings twitching. “-Michael? Are you alright, angel?” He tries to be as gentle as possible even when speaking. 

For the longest time, he doesn’t get an answer. In the end, he decides to be bold and wraps his arms around his angel’s shoulders trying to be mindful of the wings as much as possible. He isn’t surprised when Michael returns the hug almost immediately. No, they both missed each other. Ever since the molting started, Adam has been sleeping in the other room to give his mate space. But it’s a total surprise when he feels shuddering breaths against his neck and wet spots on his shoulder. Maybe he underestimated this situation. Maybe molting really does this. Maybe he was- Except, he  _ knows _ he wasn’t wrong. He knows Michael. In their entire time together, he has only seen his angel crying only a handful of times. So there must be  _ something. _

Michael cries without making a sound. Adam simply holds him not knowing what else to do without causing him pain. The large wings are already trembling and jolting now and then. Are the growing feathers hurting again? Or are the beautiful wings reacting to the archangel’s thoughts? Could this be some kind of reflex? An involuntary gesture the angels make unconsciously? Adam tries to stay completely still and focus on Michael rather than the questions clouding his mind. Michael calms down a few minutes later. 

“How could I not want you?” The whisper against his skin startles Adam. He wasn’t expecting for Michael to start opening up anytime soon. Even on the best of days, Michael is reserved. He has been raised to be like that. Still, Adam is always there for him through everything. The two of them have beaten Hell together. And today, they will get over this too. He says as much, also whispering. After a minute of silence again, Michael finally draws back and lets his wings stretch. Adam sees it then. Countless scars crossing over every inch of exposed skin falling feathers left behind. Some are white and almost faded, some are still an angry red. On the right wing, one of the lower junctions has obviously been set again after breaking. On the left, a patch as large as Adam’s chest has been burned seriously. Adam briefly remembers how Michael had fewer feathers there. Yet this is the first time Adam sees it all. Who knows what the still intact feathers hide underneath. 

“I wanted to keep you from seeing this.-” Finally,  _ finally _ , Michael is looking right at Adam. For a moment, Adam doesn’t know how to react. Because  _ this _ … explains everything. It’s why Michael was ashamed of his wings. Victims of abuse, people with self-harm experiences or anyone with scars tend to hide them. And it is also why Michael was in that much pain. Adam feels his heart breaking a little. If only he knew before… All this time…  _ Five days. _ Adam could have helped. He… “-This is part of the reason I- Well, I guess I want to tell you now, Adam. Will you listen?” Adam finds himself nodding and soon they are getting on their bed together.

“When God first created me, I didn’t have wings.-” Adam is sure he is gaping as he quickly tilts his gaze to the wings that look very real and very solid. For the first time in five days, Michael chuckles. “-In the beginning, I was in… I was more like a part of God’s own being because the universe didn’t exist back then. I guess, he came up with the idea to have us fly later when he created time and space. Lucifer was the first angel created with wings. And his were  _ beautiful _ . After that, when Lucifer was a fledgling, God gave me my own wings. They hurt to just keep intact at first. They weren’t part of me. Not really. God had to modify them many and many times until they didn’t give me pain. After that came- All those battles against leviathans and everything else… I got most of these scars fighting.” 

Adam listens and not once interrupts. Michael waits to see his reaction, looks at his face almost as if trying to see whether Adam would- Michael thinks Adam finds him ugly.  _ Oh dear. _ How could Adam not see this before? How could he not understand? In the way Michael curled into himself, in the way he tried to hide his wings… How could Adam not- How could Michael think such a thing? How could he find a being as gorgeous as himself ugly? How could he think Adam would think like that? How?

Slowly, Adam slides closer to Michael. The archangel watches him, still looking solemn. Adam raises his hand and lightly caresses the wing closer to him. Michael seems to stop breathing as Adam places a kiss on one of the most visible scars. “How did you get this one?” He asks in a breathy whisper. Michael is wide eyed now. Adam smiles and kisses another scar. He traces his lips on a long pink line probably caused by a small, sharp knife. He peppers kisses all over that burnt area. Under his lips, the wing twitches with a few feathers falling out and the others fluttering. 

“It was a leviathan. Fangs. That next was a demon, a pretty recent one. The burn happened- It happened in Hell. When Lucifer fell.” Michael stops again. Adam kisses each scar he can reach. He starts dragging his fingers all over the wing. In some places, the new feathers have grown in already. When Adam massages there, old feathers fall on the sheets. Michael leans a little into him and pushes the wing closer to his hands and lips. So Adam just keeps on. He keeps his touch light and focuses on getting out the old feathers that are ready to fall. Soon, Michael turns his back to Adam and lets him work where he couldn’t reach himself. 

“My wings were never beautiful anyway-” The hesitant tone in Michael’s voice is unexpected. Adam decides not to interrupt. “-My wings are as much of weapons as my grace and sword. So they never got to be beautiful. There was- there was Lucifer with his luminescent wings. He was the most perfect angel ever created. He captivated even God. Everyone looked at him with awe in Heaven. Then Raphael came. He had the softest wings ever. Almost like clouds. He was the caretaker of the youngest fledglings and also the Healer. Even when he learned to use lightning, he chose to be light for the little ones. He was adored by them all. They loved sleeping wrapped in his wings. Finally, when Gabriel was born, all the angels said he carried sunlight within his tiny wings. He was the joy, a little menace but everyone’s sweetheart nonetheless. My brothers were beautiful, Adam. All three of them. I would put them all together and let them sleep clinging to me. My wings were fully developed, that was the only reason they loved them. As they got older and grew bigger, they too saw that their brother wasn’t as perfect as they thought. I had scars, rough unruly feathers and strong bones that would hurt if I flapped a wing to hit someone.”

Again, the wings start to tremble. By now, Adam is sure this is how an angel expresses feelings if they let their guard down or are really young maybe. He decides not to intervene, to let Michael get it out. It’s rare that the archangel starts talking about Heaven like this. Very rare indeed. And this molting must be emotionally draining too. So Adam should lend an ear then hold his angel close. 

“Lucifer grew to- to fight against me, Adam. He only wanted to be free. He didn’t even hate humans. He was just used to being the most beautiful, fascinating every being, having the freedom to ask anything and do everything as God’s most favorite. It all changed suddenly. God became obsessed with his  _ story _ and stopped seeing us. Lucifer was, has always been, sensitive. He was sentimental, the one to feel the most among us. Maybe that was why we didn’t understand him. Maybe the fact that we only loved God and each other made us-  _ Maybe we loved each other because we loved God.  _ Maybe we didn’t know it was possible to love without worshipping. So when God asked us to love humans and Lucifer tried to befriend them as a young angel… I keep thinking, Adam. They were the first humans ever. We never saw anything like them before then. How was Lucifer supposed to know that they would go and eat that fruit when he told them about it? No angel would do something like that. Maybe Lucifer wanted them to- to know. To be free. He cherished his own freedom. Maybe he wanted to give them a gift.”

It all takes a completely different turn fast. Weren’t they talking about Michael’s wings? Weren’t they-  _ Michael needs this.  _ Michael needs to let it all out. Michael never told this to Adam before. Ever. So this moment will be one to be remembered. “He said that anyway. And Adam and Eve never said Lucifer told them to explicitly eat the fruit no matter how many times I asked later. They got used to Earth with a little help from me on God’s order. Lucifer was still in Heaven. He hadn’t rebelled yet. And he- He went to Earth almost as much as I did. Adam and Eve had their second son then. Abel was- They were friends. They claimed to be friends. I remember seeing them together. They were playing with a hellhound. A human, unafraid of one. A human who spent time talking with Lucifer. Then- then it all went downhill. God ordered Lucifer to give up the Mark. Then Cain prayed one day. Those days, it was a known fact that Lucifer was going to get himself in trouble. Cain asked for Abel to be let into Heaven in exchange for himself going to Hell. Then it happened. The first murder. On the same day Lucifer told his gathered army to strike.”

Michael falls silent suddenly. Both wings twitch sharply and Michael starts breathing unevenly. Adam swallows and wets his dry lips. He is already starting to feel unsettled himself. He never heard the tale of the Fall. Not like this. “What happened, Michael?” He asks, almost regretting having done so a second later. 

“Lucifer left the battlefield. When I beat all his soldiers and followed him, I found him sitting by Abel who had already bled out and been taken by Death. A wound from the first blade was one we couldn’t heal. Lucifer didn’t know much healing anyway. I- Adam in the last few days, I keep recounting all of this in my head. Lucifer didn’t even resist much. He knew he had lost but it was- It was almost as if he didn’t care. He did one last thing as I dragged my brother to Hell. He looked back over his shoulder, took one last glance at Abel. Then- Then it was all over. I never questioned it again. It doesn’t make sense. Abel isn’t in Heaven. He isn’t in Hell. He is gone. Just lost. What if- Adam what if I have been tricked to do that to my brother for nothing? What if God destroyed Lucifer’s only friend? What if- Adam that-  _ that could have been you.  _ All this time, I never understood. Now- Now that I have you… Adam…”

Michael trails off there. Adam lets him turn around and embrace him as soft sobs shake them both. He is only surprised to find a tear in his own eye as well. He can feel Michael’s pain through the bond between them. Even if he didn’t the tale is too bitter. He can’t even imagine how hard it must have been for Michael. And Lucifer. All the new information stirs up his mind too. For the first time ever, Adam is wondering about the beginning. About that one human said to be the best, the kindest also the most unfortunate. Innocence killed him. All this time, everyone said it was Lucifer and his own brother to end him. Yet Michael seems to think otherwise. According to what he said- 

“They loved each other. I finally confess it. They did. And- and Lucifer did everything for Abel. He only wanted to be there, on Earth. God got angrier each passing day. Adam I know- I didn’t see but  _ I know _ . I felt it. God did that on purpose. Now, you are here and- Adam I would. Angels and humans were forbidden to be together. Ever since creation. I would fight to be free to love you, Adam. That’s what my brother did. And I have been used to subdue them. To separate them. Now what right do I have to be happy? I love you. I love you but I don’t deserve it. Not you. Not your love. Not your care. Adam you have been by my side through it all. You never left me. Even now.”

Michael tenderly picks Adams hands up and kisses each knuckle one by one. Adam waits until he is finished to lean over and capture his angel in a kiss.They get closer and closer. Slowly the half balded wings fold around Adam’s shoulders. Adam puts one hand on Michael’s nape and caresses the white feathers with the other. They stay just like that on the bed for minutes and minutes. 

“All my family is gone, Adam. My brothers, my father, everyone I loved. Now-” Adam interrupts him with another kiss then a finger pushed up against his angel’s lips. 

“I won’t ever leave you, Michael. I will always be here. I will always hold you. And I promise, I do promise that you will get it all back. We will found your home again. We will be a family again. God is gone. He can’t hurt us now. So you don’t think anymore. Close your eyes and just feel. Our bond, my touch, my warmth. I love you. I will always be with you. We will create a new world just for us, for our family. A world all ours.” Adam smiles. For the first time in all these days, Michael does too. 

“A world only ours.” 

His angel promises back as Adam interwines their fingers.

**Author's Note:**

> -Second work but I don't know how relevant it is to the day's trope.  
> -Also I am shipping the rarest rare ship ever. Lucifer and Abel. Who wants their story?  
> -Comments are highly appreciated. Thanks for all the support! Kisses<333


End file.
